My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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