I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I think a kid would responsible me up
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
