i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
this boner is exhausting
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
