You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
