that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
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