So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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