So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
