i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
