saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
