yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
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