Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
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