I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I party with great urgency now.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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