Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
