What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
