you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
