He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
