You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
