After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
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