He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I AM VODKA MAN
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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