idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
