last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize