The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize
