Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
