So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
so let's talk penis.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
