She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Randomize
