So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
