So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
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