bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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