My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I could fuck to npr.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
