My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
