Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize