All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Swine flu. Run for my life!
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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