what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Too much gin, very little bucket
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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