so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
