so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Randomize
