Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
