Porn is love you can see.
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
