hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I just found puke in my bra..
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Randomize
