and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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