you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
