Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
