i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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