I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Randomize