Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Randomize
