I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
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