I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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