He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Randomize
