weddingsv make me drug and hornr
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Randomize
