It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
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