guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Randomize
