Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
