She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Randomize
