the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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