Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
