just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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