I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Enjoy the penises
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
