I looked at my own cervix.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
