Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Randomize
