The maid of honor just puked.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
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