it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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