Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
so much tequila, so little girl.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
