That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
