no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Randomize
