508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
People in love make me want to vomit
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
