Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Randomize
