Don't make out with my wife yet
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize