did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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