I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
