well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
