You really coming over, don't trick.
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Everclear isn't food dammit
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
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