Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
