Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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