I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
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