Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
