Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
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