I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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