with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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