"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
