Porn is love you can see.
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
