so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize