at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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