She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
