I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Randomize
