so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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