I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Randomize
