I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
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