We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
