Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
