I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Damn victory sex feels great
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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